touchdown to tomorrow
by veronique2
Summary: Michael and Brian are in high school reunion . story is complete


Touchdown to tomorrow  
  
Title: TOUCHDOW FOR TOMORROW   
  
Summary: Michael and Brian are in high school reunion and after many  
  
years met theirs teachers and some firends  
  
Email address:  
  
Category: Romance, AU  
  
Spoilers: General QaF knowledge  
  
Rated: R  
  
Author's note:Danielle is my beta again and i some happy she is.  
  
Archive Permission: ALWAYS .atp  
  
Disclaimer: Queer as Folk the series, characters and concepts are  
  
the property, copyright and trademark of Showtime and Cowlip. No  
  
ownership is claimed by the author; this work is non profit, non  
  
commercial and not for sale for commercial purposes. Characters and  
  
situations not specifically owned, copyrighted, or trademarked by the  
  
creators of Queer as Folk are the sole copyright of the author.  
  
Part 1  
  
"I can't believe I'm here." Said Brian angrily.  
  
"I thought it would be nice to see them again." Michael replied.  
  
"Don't give me that shit! You only want to know how the guy you lost  
  
your virginity too looks after all these years."  
  
"No, I'm just curious to know what everyone is doing now."  
  
Brian rolled his eyes, the last place he wanted to be was at their  
  
high school reunion. He was only there because Michael had wanted to  
  
go so badly. Of course he could have said no if he didn't think that  
  
prick Mark might be there. He remembered Mark well, tall, blonde and  
  
the guy who took Michael's virginity when he was 17 years old. He  
  
hated Mark, and hoped he had turned into a fat and miserable person  
  
over the years.  
  
"Oh my god! Is that you Michael?"   
  
Michael turned and saw his old high school teacher Miss Margaret  
  
Johnson coming towards him. It was a shock for him to see her, she  
  
was about 48 years old now, he loved her class. "I can't believe it!   
  
You look fantastic, tell me, what are you doing now?" She asked him.  
  
She turned her eyes to Brian and said,  
  
"God! Brian Kinney! Don't tell me that you two are still friends!"  
  
Brian smiled back and put his arm around Michael's shoulder.  
  
"In fact we're lovers now." Brian announced proudly and provokingly.  
  
Miss Johnson seemed disappointed and looked at Michael,  
  
"I hope we can talk later Michael."  
  
She walked away and Brian began to laugh.  
  
"What?" Asked Michael.  
  
"You saw her face, she was really disappointed. I always knew that  
  
she had a crush on you."  
  
"Are you crazy? Not miss Johnson."  
  
"Oh come on Mikey, I saw the way she would look at you in class. I  
  
told you once but you didn't believe me. Too bad you didn't use your  
  
charms to get a better grade."  
  
"Don't be stupid."  
  
Brian looked at his lover.  
  
"That isn't stupid, I always know when someone has a crush on you. I  
  
feel it, that's all."  
  
"Brian's jealousy radar?"  
  
"I'm not jealous, Michael."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
Suddenly Michael saw a familiar face and said to Brian,  
  
"Oh look Brian, it's Mark!"  
  
Brian looked in the direction Michael had pointed in. It was Mark,  
  
still tall and blond but not fat, and he was wearing an expensive  
  
suit. He was damn good looking, in fact he looked better than ever.   
  
Brian felt a twinge of jealousy, Mark was the first to touch his  
  
Mikey. He had wanted to be the first and was hurt that he wasn't,  
  
but because of his own stupidity it had been Mark. The lucky one.  
  
Mark saw Brian and Michael and joined them.  
  
"Mark!" Yelled Michael in greeting.  
  
"Michael! Oh god you look terrific."  
  
"You remember me?" Asked a surprised Michael.  
  
"Of course, how I could forgot you?" Mark said with lust in eyes as  
  
he remembered the memory of them together. Then Mark looked at Brian  
  
who wrapped his arm around Michael possessively.  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me you are Brian Kinney! I'm sure you are." He  
  
said with a nervous look.  
  
Brian smiled brightly,  
  
"Oh...you remembered me too. You're so sweet Mark."  
  
"Well, it's hard to forget you. Don't tell me that you are still  
  
friends?"  
  
Brian held on to Michael more tightly.  
  
"No, we are lovers now." He said with a dismissive glare.  
  
Mark understood the message and said to Michael,  
  
"Finally. Since when? It must be a long time now." Mark said.  
  
"Three months." Answered Michael.  
  
"Only 3 months! But what have you been doing during the past 14  
  
years? Were you living away from each other?"  
  
"No." Said Michael, feeling a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"What a loss for so many men! Do you know if there is a support  
  
group for all the men who tried to love one of you? Maybe I could  
  
join them and we could deal with the trauma." Marks said and laughed.  
  
"Fuck off Mark." Said Brian.  
  
"Don't worry Brian." Mark said casually. "I'm proud that I was your  
  
first, Michael. I know that I'll always be in your memory, and it  
  
was a great consolation prize believe me!" Mark said, giving Brian a  
  
smug look.  
  
"You will." Said Michael.  
  
Mark then left and Brian looked at Michael.  
  
"What did you mean by that 'you will'"? He asked.  
  
"Brian! He was my first, I can't forget it!"  
  
"But I'm better than him and you love to have sex with me."  
  
"Of course I love it! I love you but it's different, my experience  
  
with Mark was unique! Remember your first Brian?"  
  
Brian rolled his eyes again.  
  
"It was just sex, I had better experiences after that."  
  
"Yes, but I'm not like you. It was really important for me and I'm  
  
sorta proud because he is still hot."  
  
Brian was annoyed by the conversation.  
  
"I need a drink."  
  
Brian was furious. Yes, it was in the past but he was angry with  
  
himself just like he had been when they were 17. He wanted to be  
  
Michael's first, and he had pushed Michael into Mark's arms because  
  
of his stupidity.  
  
While at the buffet, he bumped into Sophia. He remembered her right  
  
away because he always thought she was crazy. She read Science books  
  
all the time and even started a club that had only one member beside  
  
herself. Once, she almost burnt the whole school down because of  
  
some strange experiment.  
  
"Sophia, he that you?" He asked.  
  
The woman looked him.  
  
"Oh my! Brian! How are you?"  
  
"Fine.."  
  
He never knew why but when they were young he was the only person  
  
Sophia ever wanted to speak too. In the beginning he had been  
  
scared, thinking she had a crush on him, but he learned she liked him  
  
because she knew he'd be ready to collaborate with her in her crazy  
  
scheme's. That's why he got special permission to join her club in  
  
their 2nd year. He knew that they could burn the school down  
  
together and had told Mikey about it. Mikey was worried and had  
  
persuaded Brian into not helping Sophia out that day she did set fire  
  
to the school. He laughed at the memory.  
  
The woman seemed happy to see him.  
  
"Brian, it's fantastic that you're here!"  
  
"What are you doing now Sophia?"  
  
"I married a very rich man who gives me a lot of money and I can do  
  
what I want with it! I'm so glad you're here. Come on, I have  
  
something to show you."  
  
He followed his crazy high school classmate to their old science lab.  
  
"I put it in here a few minutes ago."  
  
"You put what in here?" Asked Brian with curiosity.  
  
Sophia took out a small box and said proudly,  
  
"Brian! I created a time machine! And I'm sure you want try it  
  
before anybody else. I was going to surprise the others, but, you  
  
were always with me and helped me so much! You must be the first."  
  
Brian looked at Sophia and he laughed.  
  
"You are really crazy Sophia, a time machine!"  
  
"It works, I tried it on me! Believe me! With that you can do what  
  
you always wanted to do and never did because you passed up your  
  
chance."  
  
Brian could tell she was serious, although he wasn't sure that she  
  
hadn't lost her mind. But he'd try it out, it wouldn't kill him  
  
after all.  
  
"Okay, take me back to when we were 17. There's something I need to  
  
do."  
  
Brian, thought that this would be his chance to be Michael's first,  
  
and not Mark.  
  
Part 2  
  
  
  
Sophia gave Brian one last piece of advice, "Keep the box with you  
  
and when you want to come back just enter the date and press the  
  
button."  
  
"It's so simple!"  
  
"It is, have a nice trip Brian!"  
  
Brian pressed the small button and disappeared, he reappeared in the  
  
same lab room, but Sophia was no where in sight.  
  
"Wow, I didn't feel a thing, this is fantastic."   
  
He opened the door and saw the corridor was filled with students  
  
waiting for their next classes to begin. He looked closely and  
  
recognized some of them.  
  
"Sophia, you're a genius!" He said to himself.  
  
He saw Mr. Jones, the high school Principal. Mr. Jones approached  
  
him and said,  
  
"You must be Mr. Parker! I'm glad to have you as a teacher in this  
  
school. Now, if you'll follow me, I will tell you about your class.   
  
I'm very proud to have you replace Miss Lane. She broke her leg and  
  
we didn't know if you were free, I'm so glad you got the message.   
  
You've saved us."  
  
Brian was surprised when the Principal mistook him for a teacher.   
  
Then he remembered that Miss Lane had been his Marketing teacher and  
  
that she had been out of school for a month. He was glad they  
  
weren't able to replace her, he found the opportunity very  
  
interesting because he'd be able to approach Michael very easily  
  
posing as a teacher.  
  
"Oh yes, you are lucky that I was free." Brian replied with a smile.  
  
****  
  
"So Mikey? Have you decided?" Brian asked as he and Michael talked  
  
in the hallway.  
  
"Not yet, I mean, I want everything to be perfect for my fist time."  
  
"It was your New Years resolution Mikey, do you see someone in school  
  
you want to fuck?"  
  
Michael looked up at his smiling friend. Of course he saw someone  
  
who was just perfect for him. He was standing right in front of him:  
  
Brian himself. But he couldn't say this to his best friend. He  
  
wanted to go into the adult world, he wanted it badly and physically  
  
needed too. The time had come.  
  
"So?" Repeated Brian.  
  
Michael wanted to answer Brian and when he spotted Mark Orton over  
  
his shoulder, he said, "Him," without even thinking.  
  
Brian turned and saw Mark, his smile faded slightly but Michael never  
  
noticed it.  
  
"Good choice Mikey."  
  
"I don't think he'll agree." Said Michael with an insecure look.  
  
Brian rolled his eyes.  
  
"He'd be crazy to not want you!"  
  
"I don't know, I'm not like you. I mean, he is hot, I'm physically  
  
attracted to him but I'm not in love with him and don't know if..."  
  
Brian smiled back.  
  
"That's why he's perfect! Forget love Mikey, you want him? Fuck him  
  
and forget him."  
  
"I'd prefer to be in love with my first."  
  
"Mikey, love is one thing and sex is another thing. It's better if  
  
you have sex without love, believe me."  
  
"I don't know, but if I wait to be loved by someone to have sex, I  
  
will be virgin all my life."   
  
Brian looked into Michael's eyes.  
  
"Don't say that Mikey!"  
  
"But it's true. I'm not hot, I'm no good in school, who could love  
  
me?"  
  
"You're so pathetic Mikey. You don't see what you are and what you  
  
have right in front of you." He paused a second and continued. "So,  
  
Mark...I wanted to fuck him too but, if you want him, it's okay, he's  
  
yours."  
  
Brian got ready to leave for his class, "Go talk to him."  
  
"Wait! Brian! I can't to go and ask him to have sex!"  
  
"Want me to ask for you?"  
  
"NO!" Yelled Michael.  
  
"So go! If you don't go, I will ask for you."  
  
Brian began to walk towards Mark but Michael grabbed his arm and  
  
stopped him.  
  
"Okay, I'll ask him."  
  
Brian smiled  
  
"Fine!"  
  
Brian left Michael, he felt upset and he didn't want to know why.  
  
Michael looked at Mark and he smiled brightly back at Michael.  
  
Michael blushed, grabbed his books and went to class.  
  
****  
  
Brian left the Principal's office, ready to go to class.   
  
"Don't forget Mr. Parker, if this brat Brian Kinney disturbs you're  
  
class, send him to me."  
  
"Don't worry, Mr. Jones, I'm sure I can handle this brilliant  
  
student." Replied Brian.  
  
Brian began making his way to the classroom, he was intrigued. For  
  
the first time he would be a teacher to others, and possibly a  
  
teacher to himself.  
  
He saw a boy with a young and beautiful ass bent over in front of  
  
him, the boy was picking a book up off the floor. He stood up and  
  
turned and Brian saw the owner, it was his Michael.  
  
"Oh sorry, I didn't see you!" Said Michael, after bumping into him.  
  
Brian got a hard on instantly, it was strange to see his Mikey at 17  
  
years old again.   
  
"Don't worry, it was my pleasure." Said Brian with a large smile. He  
  
saw Michael's face become crimson.  
  
Michael stared at the man. He had never seen such a beautiful man  
  
before. He looked at Brian, he felt his heart beat faster, and was  
  
immediately attracted to the man.  
  
"I .. I ." Stuttered Michael.  
  
"I'm looking for classroom 4 is, do you know where it is?"  
  
"Yes.. It's my class.."  
  
"Good, I'm the new teacher, Allan Parker. I'll follow you."  
  
Michael smiled shyly and cutely, Brian was very happy to make Michael  
  
react like that.  
  
They entered the class and Michael sat down, he noticed that his best  
  
friend was not there yet. All the girls in class were excited about  
  
the new teacher, and after a few minutes Brian decided to begin. He  
  
was going to teach them about advertising. It was what he did best,  
  
after sex of course.  
  
Michael was very fond of his new teacher, and each time he could,  
  
Brian looked at the young version of his best friend.  
  
Thirty minutes later the younger Brian finally entered class, he was  
  
surprised to see a new teacher.  
  
"So, you must be Brian Kinney." Said Brian to his younger self.  
  
"Yep." Said The young Brian.  
  
"I'm Allan Parker, I'm replacing Miss Lane."  
  
The young Brian sat at his desk and Michael discreetly slipped him a  
  
note. Brian read the paper it said:  
  
"This new teacher is damn hot! I never saw a man so sexy. What do you  
  
think of him?"  
  
Brian looked from the teacher to Michael and saw the stars in his  
  
eyes when Michael looked at Mr. Parker. Then he answered:  
  
"Not bad. I'm sure I will be more sexy at his age. Besides, he is  
  
old and there's something I don't like about him. Did you talk to  
  
Mark?"  
  
Michael didn't understand how Brian could be so cold about this new  
  
teacher. He wrote back:  
  
"No, I didn't do it. God Brian! Mr. Parker may be old but he is so  
  
hot!"  
  
Brian was annoyed by this new teacher and the look he saw in his best  
  
friend's eyes. He noticed that this new teacher looked at Michael  
  
often, and that annoyed him more. He was upset again for the second  
  
time that day. He didn't like this new teacher at all. It was  
  
obvious to him that this Mr. Parker was going to try and seduce his  
  
Mikey. He felt angry.  
  
The older Brian thought that he could easily make his dream come true  
  
with Michael. He'd do all the romantic stuff that Mikey liked, it  
  
was just a question of time. He needed to prepare and make sure  
  
everything was perfect.   
  
The younger Brian's jealousy radar was going off, he decided that  
  
this new teacher would pose a lot of trouble for him and Mikey. He  
  
was going to protect Mikey from this man.  
  
Part 3  
  
Brian was upset and Michael was worried when "Mr. Parker" asked  
  
Michael to stay after class. Brian waited outside the classroom for  
  
his friend while he talked with the teacher.  
  
While he was teaching, Brian had thought of a way to talk with  
  
Michael. He realized that his credit cards were useless in this  
  
time, and that he didn't have enough money on him to stay in a  
  
hotel. He also knew how to use his knowledge that Vic once lived in  
  
New York to his advantage.  
  
"So, you are the Michael Novotny. I've heard a lot about you."   
  
Michael seemed surprised.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"I know your Uncle Vic! I'm a friend of his."  
  
Michael smiled.  
  
"Oh, really? Where did you meet him?"  
  
"New York. I want to ask a favor, I'm new here and I don't have an  
  
apartment yet. Vic told me that his sister Debbie was very kind and  
  
that I could probably stay with you until I found myself a home. I  
  
know it's sudden but do you think it's possible?"  
  
"I'm sure Ma will agree to it, Mr. Parker. After school you can come  
  
back home with me and I'll call her."  
  
"Thank you very much Mikey. Can I call you Mikey?" Brian asked,  
  
looking at Michael seductively. Michael turned crimson again.  
  
"Yeah...I mean, yes!"  
  
"Your uncle was right when he said that his nephew was cute."  
  
Michael's heart wanted to explode, this man had a terrific power over  
  
him.  
  
"Are you...are you...I mean are you and my uncle..?" Asked Michael  
  
with hesitation.  
  
Brian smiled brightly, he understood what Michael wanted to know.  
  
"No, just friend. I prefer dark haired men."  
  
Michael couldn't believe what he heard. Was this man trying to  
  
seduce him? He couldn't believe that a man like this wanted him. He  
  
wasn't just a teacher but Vic's friend too. He was just being kind  
  
because he was Vic's nephew.  
  
Suddenly the door opened it was the young Brian, he immediately  
  
noticed Michael's red face and his starry eyed expression.  
  
"Mikey! We're going be late for our next class." He yelled.  
  
Michael was surprised, since when did Brian care about that? Brian  
  
glared instinctively at the teacher.  
  
"I'll see you tonight Mikey." Said the older Brian.  
  
"Yes Mr. Parker"  
  
"Call me Allan."  
  
"I .. ya.. sure." Said Michael.  
  
Brian was curious to know what all of this meant after they left the  
  
classroom. He took Michael's arm and said,  
  
"Follow me. You need to explain what happened."  
  
"But it's time for history class now."  
  
"I don't care, that class is boring."  
  
Michael wasn't in the mood for history class, he wanted to tell his  
  
best friend what had happened more. They snuck out of school so they  
  
could talk privately.  
  
"So, tell me." Ordered Brian. He pretended to be cool in front of  
  
his best friend but inside he was mad and wanted to know everything.  
  
Michael told Brian about his talk with the new teacher.  
  
"He's a friend of Vic's?"  
  
That was a big surprise to Brian and he didn't like the thought of  
  
Michael and this man in the same house.  
  
"God, Brian this man is all what I want. If he could be my first time  
  
it would be.."  
  
"And Mark?" Interrupted Brian.  
  
"Forget Mark. But I have no chance with a man like that. He is so  
  
sexy and intelligent too. Did you see his lips and his eyes?   
  
They're almost like." Michael paused and looking at Brian, realized  
  
that Mr. parker looked like an older Brian, he thought that this man  
  
was definitely his type.  
  
"Please Mikey, he is fucking old! It's too weird."  
  
"Well, old mean experienced. He must be very good." Said Michael.  
  
"Please Mikey, at his age you've lost all your strength. I don't  
  
think he would be a good fuck at all, Mark is better, I mean young!"  
  
"But I m not in love with Mark."  
  
"Do you mean that you're in love with this dinosaur? Don't make me  
  
laugh, you don't even know him."  
  
"No, it's just, he is.. I don't know but he turns me, that's all. But  
  
it's hopeless."  
  
"Of course it is...he's a teacher."  
  
"But, your first was with a teacher too."  
  
"Listen to me Mikey, we don't even know him. You need to think. Don't  
  
do something without telling me beforehand. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, but I don't have any intention of doing something. I'm not an  
  
idiot, he'll reject me. A man like that for me..."  
  
"Stop with that Mikey! You're fucking hot...why don't you want  
  
believe me?"  
  
Michael said nothing. Brian wasn't an idiot, he knew the way a man  
  
looked when he wanted another man. And he saw that look in this  
  
teacher's eyes when he watched Michael.  
  
"I want you to call me tonight. You must telling me everything.  
  
Okay? I'm your best friend and I want to know."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Brian was upset, he had never seen his best friend act like this  
  
before, completely addicted to a man he even didn't know. Usually,  
  
the stars in Michael's eyes were for him and him only.  
  
The rest of the day was a long one for both Brian and "Mr. Parker,"  
  
they were both anxious about what was going to happen  
  
Part 4  
  
That night in the Novotny home, Debbie and her son were finishing up  
  
dinner with their guest.  
  
"Your lasagna was fantastic." Brian complemented her, feeling very  
  
strange sitting across from such a young Deb.  
  
"Thanks. So, you met Vic in New York? Were you and he..."  
  
"No, just friends.  
  
"I see. Well, I've gotten Vic's room ready for you, it's small but  
  
should do nicely."  
  
"Thank You."  
  
"I'm sorry but I have to go to work, I have the night shift."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll look after your son." Brian said and smiled  
  
slightly.  
  
Debbie looked at him suspiciously and noticed that Michael was  
  
obviously fascinated by this new teacher. She was worried and waited  
  
until Michael had gone to his bedroom before talking to Brian.  
  
"Allan, my son is young and naïve. Don't play with him." She said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I saw the way you were looking at him during dinner. You're a  
  
teacher and a man, if you touch him I will kill you."  
  
Brian laughed.  
  
"I'm serious Allan."  
  
"He likes me."  
  
"Of course he does, he's a hormonal teenager and you are a gorgeous  
  
gay man. My son isn't blind but he is only 17 and he doesn't really  
  
know what he wants."  
  
"I think he knows exactly what he wants but is just insecure, I can  
  
help him. And he is 17, he's not a baby anymore Deb." Brian replied  
  
with a smile.  
  
"Perhaps he isn't a baby anymore but he is my baby and I have enough  
  
trouble handling his best friend. So, if you stay here, don't do  
  
anything to my son." She ordered.  
  
  
  
Debbie was such a protective mother, he wasn't sure what to do.   
  
Brian said nothing as she left, then an idea popped into Debbie's  
  
mind.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Brian went to Michael's room, it was so strange standing there  
  
looking at a 17 year old Michael in his old bedroom. He was reading  
  
a comic and when he looked up and saw his teacher, his heart jumped.  
  
"You read comics, I know a lot about them."  
  
Michael was surprised and glad and they started talking about comics  
  
and other things. Without thinking, and just because he was use to  
  
it, Brian put his hand on the back of Michael's neck and started  
  
caressing his hair with his fingers while they talked.   
  
Michael looked at him in surprise and blushed.  
  
Brian wanted to kiss Mikey, it was like he forgot he was 31 years  
  
old.   
  
"Excuse me." Michael said when the doorbell rang.  
  
Michael ran to open the door, it was Brian.  
  
"What are you doing here Brian?"  
  
Brian entered, carrying a large bag.  
  
"Debbie called me, she said I could stay the night if I wanted too.   
  
I think she's worried about your guest."  
  
Michael was glad to see his best friend but little disappointed too.  
  
Brian noticed it.  
  
"What? Where is your welcome smile Mikey? Don't tell me that you  
  
and this dinosaur were.."  
  
"No, of course not, we were just talking about comics."  
  
"Huh? He likes comic? A teacher who likes comic books?"  
  
"We talked a lot actually and we have a lot in common. It's amazing,  
  
he reminds me of you."  
  
"Don't insult me Mikey, I'm sure I have more interesting things to  
  
say than an old man like that."  
  
Brian was definitely annoyed with this man. He felt like this Mr.  
  
Parker was trying to steal his best friend away from him. He had  
  
never felt threatened like this before. Until now, Michael only saw  
  
him, believed him and now there was only "Allan" on Mikey's mind.  
  
"So, where is he?"  
  
"In my room."  
  
"You were in your room with him?"  
  
Michael smiled happily.  
  
"I think he likes me, it's incredible. Just before you rang he was  
  
caressing my hair."  
  
Brian was stunned but happy he showed up when he did. He was  
  
determined to make sure this "Allan" didn't touch Mikey again.  
  
The older Brian came down from the bedroom and saw his younger self,  
  
and glared at him.  
  
What am I doing here? He thought. My younger self doesn't seem happy  
  
to see me, it's funny, I think I'm jealous of myself.  
  
*****  
  
They decided to watch TV and the younger Brian made sure he sat  
  
between his best friend and their teacher. He smirked in Mr.  
  
Parker's direction as he threw an arm around Mikey's shoulder,  
  
showing his possession.  
  
The older Brian smiled back. He thought about himself and what he  
  
was like at 17, he didn't remember getting jealous. The first time  
  
he ever felt jealousy was with David, before that, he was secure all  
  
the time. Before David, Michael had just been fucking guys...no  
  
love, no tomorrow, no worries. But he always felt jealous when he  
  
felt threatened, this younger Brian must be the same way. Older or  
  
younger it seemed that Michael was everything to them both.  
  
Brian realized suddenly that his younger self could be an obstacle  
  
between him and Michael. He knew himself very well, and judging by  
  
the smirk on the younger man's face, war had been declared.  
  
Brian went into the kitchen to get a beer, the younger Brian followed  
  
right behind him.  
  
"Would you like some juice?" Mr. Parker asked.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Orange juice or apple?"  
  
"I don't think that's the kind of juice I want..."  
  
The younger Brian stared at his teachers crotch, he moved closer to  
  
him and put his hand over Brian's cock.  
  
"I'd prefer to taste this juice."  
  
The older Brian was shocked, he wanted to give himself a blowjob?   
  
The situation was too weird and that was the last thing he wanted.   
  
But he knew what his teenage self was trying to do, he knew that   
  
this was the first tactic: seduce the man that wanted Mikey.   
  
He smiled.  
  
"Sorry, but I can offer you Orange juice or Apply juice." He said,  
  
removing Brian's hand.   
  
The younger Brian was visibly put off and said,  
  
"You don't know what your missing."  
  
"Oh sure, I'm sure I'll regret it all my life." He answered  
  
sarcastically.  
  
"I'm sure you'll change your mind." The younger Brian responded  
  
confidently.  
  
Michael entered the kitchen and immediately understood what had been  
  
going on.  
  
"Time for bed." Mr. Parker announced.  
  
****  
  
Brian and Michael were in Michael's room and he was pissed.   
  
"I don't believe it! You cam on to him! You said you didn't like  
  
him."  
  
"I don't. I don't want him to hurt you Mikey and I was just trying  
  
to see if he deserved you."  
  
Brian wrapped his arms around Michael and gave him a quick kiss on  
  
the neck. Michael blushed and Brian felt secure in his place in  
  
Michael's life.  
  
Suddenly, he took something from his pocket and said,  
  
"I have a surprise for you!"  
  
"What?" Michael asked curiously.  
  
"Fake ID's. One for you and one for me so that we can get into  
  
Babylon."  
  
"Oh my god! Brian! How did you get these? Wait, we can't...it's  
  
fucking dangerous. If my mom finds out she'll kill us."  
  
"Come on Mikey, I know you want too go."  
  
Michael smiled, of course he wanted to do it.  
  
"Tomorrow's Saturday, we'll go then, it'll be perfect."  
  
"Okay, Ma's working the late shift."  
  
"Great!"  
  
Brian kissed his best friend softly, they fell asleep in each other's  
  
arms and Brian knew that going to Babylon was a great idea, it was  
  
just what he needed to get Mr. Parker out of Mikey's mind.  
  
Brian wasn't teaching so he decided to sleep in and take it easy.   
  
His younger self and Michael were in class, and when he woke up, it  
  
was already noon.  
  
After eating he decided to go out and check out Pittsburgh. So many  
  
things had changed in this town since he was a kid, he found himself  
  
walking into Buzzy's, Mikey's future store. It was so odd not seeing  
  
Mikey there behind the counter when he entered. That's when he  
  
realized he missed his Mikey, he couldn't even phone him and tell him  
  
what he was doing here. He thought about Michael's reaction...if he  
  
only knew...  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by something bumping into his legs.   
  
Turning, he saw a little boy with blonde hair, he looked to be 5  
  
years old.  
  
"Sorry." Said the blond boy with a big smile.  
  
His mother came over, grabbing her son and said,  
  
"Justin, stay with me. I'm sorry Sir."  
  
Brian recognized Jennifer and looked at the blond boy. She handed a  
  
toy to her son.  
  
"Do you like it?"  
  
"I like Spiderman better." Said the little one.   
  
Brian laughed. It was so weird to see Justin at this age. He felt  
  
strange when he looked at the boy thinking he was his boyfriend once  
  
and that he had fucked him.  
  
"They don't have Spiderman, Justin."  
  
Justin began to cry because he couldn't have his toy.  
  
"Justin!" Said Jennifer.  
  
Suddenly, Justin grabbed Brian's leg tightly. Brian and Jennifer  
  
looked at each other in surprise.  
  
"I want Spiderman!" Yelled Justin in tears.  
  
"Justin, that man can't give you a Spiderman toy. Let him go."  
  
"No. I want him to gave me Spiderman!" Said Justin.  
  
"Justin, sweetie, this man is not the owner. He doesn't have a  
  
Spiderman toy." Said Jennifer softly.  
  
"I want my Spiderman! You told me I could have one!"  
  
Brian watched Justin grip his legs tighter.  
  
"Almost 5 years old already stubborn. And he already wants something  
  
from me I can't give." He thought.  
  
"I'm sorry, he can be so stubborn when he wants something." She said  
  
apologetically.  
  
"I know." Said Brian.  
  
"They don't have Spiderman here but, there's another store near here  
  
and I'm sure they'll have it." Said Brian.  
  
"Can you show me where it is?"  
  
Brian agreed and left with Jennifer and her son. He took little  
  
Justin into his arms, and when he fell asleep with his head on  
  
Brian's shoulder, he started to feel guilty knowing what their  
  
relationship was like. He hadn't been very kind and had hurt him so  
  
much.  
  
After Jennifer bought the toy she turned to Brian and said, "Thanks a  
  
lot. Can I ask you something? You said that you're a teacher, and I  
  
know I don't know you but I am desperate for a baby sitter tomorrow  
  
afternoon. I have nobody to help and I'll pay you."  
  
  
  
Brian hadn't been expecting that! Spend an entire afternoon with a 5  
  
year old Justin? and he needed money .  
  
"Okay." He agreed. "But I'd prefer that you bring him to my place,  
  
I have work to do and I need to paid in cash."  
  
"Sounds great, thank you."  
  
Brian gave his address to her before they parted ways, he smiled to  
  
himself knowing he'd be baby-sitting Justin.  
  
The day passed slowly and finally the evening came. When Brian got  
  
back to Debbie's house, he found her there with her son and his best  
  
friend.  
  
"He's still there," Brian thought, "don't tell me that my younger  
  
self has decided to spend every minute with Mikey, he just doesn't  
  
want me to have the opportunity to approach Mikey."  
  
Debbie left for work after dinner, feeling secure because Brian was  
  
there and he could be very protective of her son...especially when he  
  
didn't like another person, and he did not like this Allan Parker.  
  
***  
  
"It won't be easy for us to go to Babylon." An upset Brian said as  
  
he and Michael sat in his bedroom.  
  
Michael said nothing at first, then suggested,  
  
"Maybe he could come with us?"  
  
Brian yelled,  
  
"Are you crazy? He won't let us go! I know you like him a lot but he  
  
is a teacher Michael!"  
  
***  
  
Down in the kitchen, Brian knew what was happening up in Michael's  
  
bedroom. He remembered that this was the day of their first trip to  
  
Babylon. He decided he'd go to Babylon as well, it was the perfect  
  
way to seduce Michael.  
  
He went to Michael's room and said,  
  
"Mikey, I'm going out. I won't be back till tomorrow morning. It's  
  
okay, I'll leave you two alone."  
  
"Okay." Said Michael.  
  
"Don't worry about it." Said the younger Brian with a large smile.  
  
Brian smiled back at him. He was looking forward to and curious to  
  
see his own reaction when they all saw each other at Babylon.  
  
He left the room very amused and smiling to himself. He didn't know  
  
why but he found this very funny to actually see himself  
  
fighting...himself, to keep Mikey.  
  
Brian took Michael in his arms because he was so happy to see their  
  
teacher go out for the night.  
  
"This is great! We can go to Babylon now, Mikey!" He quickly kissed  
  
Michael's lips.  
  
Michael smiled at him. He was a little afraid but impatient too.  
  
***  
  
A little while later they entered the club. It wasn't easy, the guy  
  
checking ID's at the door was suspicious at first but Brian was so  
  
self-confident that he let them enter.  
  
They started at everything, opened mouth and wide eyes. It was  
  
terrific. So many men, most were dancing and some were practically  
  
naked.  
  
There were so many people there that the two young boys held each  
  
other's hands so they wouldn't lose each other.  
  
"This is terrific Mikey!"  
  
They were exploring the club and when they stumbled into the back  
  
room they found men fucking each other.  
  
"Look at this Mikey!"  
  
Michael stared at the all men and blushed. He felt strange being  
  
there because he was still virgin and felt uneasy.  
  
"Come on, let's go dance." Urged Michael.  
  
"No, I want to stay here."  
  
"Brian! You..you want to..."  
  
"No, no, I just want watch!" Said Brian. "I'll join you in a bit.   
  
Go dance."  
  
Michael nodded and left his best friend. He went to the dance floor  
  
and felt lost. Suddenly someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned  
  
back and saw his teacher. His eyes widened in surprise.  
  
Brian smiled at him seductively, moved closer and started dancing.  
  
"Dance with me Mikey."  
  
Michael wasn't sure.  
  
"You...you won't tell my Mom that I was here will you?"  
  
"No, I won't tell her. But you must dance with me all night. I  
  
promise that you won't regret coming here tonight Mikey."  
  
Michael's heart beat faster and faster. He smiled back and they moved  
  
closer, dancing provocatively together. Michael felt very good with  
  
this man and he let him lead the way.  
  
The younger Brian exited the backroom a few minutes later. He had  
  
had some trouble with a man who wanted to fuck him, but he stayed in  
  
control and left. He wasn't ready for the backroom yet, maybe one  
  
day, but not yet.  
  
He searched for his best friend and when he finally found Mikey  
  
dancing provocatively with their teacher his blood began to boil.  
  
Brian watched "Mr. Parker" dancing with his best friend, he noticed  
  
that Mikey seemed happy. He was filled with anger and sadness.   
  
Brian joined them and began dancing, he worked his way in between  
  
Michael and the older man, continuing to glare at their teacher.   
  
They danced for a while then Michael went to the bar for a drink, the  
  
older Brian wanted to follow, but the teenaged Brian stopped him.  
  
"Stay away from Mikey." Ordered Brian.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Came the innocent reply from their  
  
teacher.  
  
"You understood me! Mikey is my best friend. You're not good for  
  
him. You're too old for him and you will hurt him."  
  
Brian smiled at him.  
  
"It's Mickey choice."  
  
"Don't call him like that."  
  
"What's going on Brian? You afraid that I can steal Mikey away from  
  
you? Would the best friend be jealous?"  
  
Brian knew that he said was the truth, but his younger self stayed  
  
cool and answered,  
  
"I'm not jealous. But Mikey is my business and..."  
  
"And he will be long after me." Continued the older Brian.  
  
The teenager was surprised by that remark. Michael came back and saw  
  
the two Brian's glaring at one another. But they continued dancing  
  
like nothing had ever happened, when the older Brian left for the  
  
bathroom, Michael turned to Brian with a huge smile on his face.  
  
"God, Brian, this place is fantastic! And did you see how Allan is  
  
looking at me? I think that tonight is the night...I think I'll ask  
  
him if he wants to do it."  
  
Brian was annoyed again.  
  
"Can you stop talking about him? It's really bothering me."  
  
"Brian?"  
  
Brian walked away from Michael and started dancing with another guy,  
  
then he began kissing him deliberately in front of Michael.  
  
Michael felt his heart brake. Two arms wrapped around him firmly, it  
  
was "Mr. Parker." Michael immediately felt comfortable. Brian  
  
looked at his younger self.  
  
"I was really stupid." He thought to himself.  
  
Brian wanted to erase the hurt he saw in Michael's eyes and kissed  
  
him. At first it was soft but after few seconds it became deeper and  
  
then even more deeper. They became lost in the passionate kiss.  
  
The young Brian saw them kissing. He noticed the intensity of the  
  
kiss between the two. Pulling away from the anonymous guy, he felt  
  
so confused because of his conflicting emotions. He never believed  
  
that one day he would see Mikey in a such passionate kiss.  
  
He hated his teacher for sharing that kind of a kiss with his best  
  
friend. After the kiss was broken, Brian grabbed his best friend's  
  
arm and ordered him to follow him.   
  
"Mr. Parker" let them go, wondering what was about to happen. He had  
  
this sensation deep inside that something was starting to change, but  
  
he couldn't tell if it was good or bad.  
  
"What's going on Brian? Did you see how he kissed me! And this kiss  
  
was so...god I can't even put words on it!" Said Michael to his best  
  
friend.  
  
"I don't like this guy Mikey, he is playing with you and you're act  
  
like a stupid boy!"  
  
Michael was surprised.  
  
"What do you mean? For once I found someone who wants me. Plus,  
  
someone who has so much in common with me and a damn hot body.."  
  
"Stay away from him Mikey."  
  
Michael didn't understand at first but suddenly he figured out that  
  
Brian seemed upset each time he talked about Allan. Michael decided  
  
to confront his best friend.  
  
"Why? Why are you so upset about it? Are you jealous Brian?" He  
  
asked.  
  
Michael was proud of himself for mustering up the courage to ask.   
  
Brian watched at him for a few seconds in silence and suddenly  
  
laughed.  
  
"You're so pathetic Mikey! Me jealous? Are you joking? You want to  
  
fuck him then go fuck him. I don't care! I'm don't even know why I  
  
am your friend. I must have felt pity for you. Jealous, don't make  
  
me laugh! I don't do love remember that Mikey? And even if I would  
  
do that I certainly won't do with a loser like you! So go and fuck  
  
your precious Allan. I don't want to talk to you ever again!"  
  
Michael was in shock. Brian's words were hurting him deeply. He felt  
  
betrayed and tried not to shed any tears.  
  
Brian started to leave Babylon but the older Brian took his arm  
  
trying to stop him. The teenage looked at him furiously with tears in  
  
his eyes. Brian knew this look too well.  
  
"Let me go. You win!" The younger Brian said and shook his arm  
  
violently away and left.  
  
Brian didn't believe what had just happened. His younger version's  
  
word were terrible. He joined Michael.  
  
"Hey, Mikey!"  
  
Mikey smiled at him but it was not a very happy smile.  
  
"My best friend is such an asshole. Thank god I've finally opened my  
  
eyes.  
  
Brian entered his home silently, but his father was waiting. Jack  
  
stood up and approached his son.  
  
"Where did you go tonight sonny boy?" He asked, his breath stinking  
  
of alcohol.  
  
Brian didn't answer and stared at his father in silence.  
  
"Answer me!" He yelled.  
  
"Went out." Brian finally said.  
  
"Getting into trouble again?" Yelled Jack.  
  
Brian glared at his father.  
  
"I'm going to sleep."  
  
Jack grabbed Brian be the arms and pushed him violently against the  
  
wall.  
  
"You aren't going anywhere sonny boy! You think you're better than  
  
me but you're nothing but a little shit! Where were you tonight  
  
exactly?"  
  
Brain was hurting, when he was pushed against the wall pain shot  
  
through them violently.  
  
"So you care now?"  
  
"I care when my son goes out and screws around. I pay for your food,  
  
your clothes and your school. Every time I see you I see a big  
  
mistake. You're cold, you don't respect me or your mother. You go  
  
out and get into trouble and we have to clean it up."  
  
"How can I respect an alcoholic like you?"  
  
Jack was furious and hit him in the face, Brian fell to the floor.  
  
"You are a loser!"  
  
"A loser who aces his classes." Whispered Brian.  
  
"Shut up!" Yelled Jack as he kicked Brian in the stomach with his  
  
foot.  
  
Brian's mother came running into the room, trying to stop him.  
  
"Jack! Stop! You could kill him!" She screamed.  
  
"If only I could. Feeding 3 instead of 4 would be easier."  
  
Jack stopped beating his son. Brian stood up, aching all over with  
  
tears in his eyes.  
  
"Look at him Joan! Your son want's to cry like a fairy."  
  
Brian didn't want to cry in front of his father and held his tears  
  
back. He looked at his father coldly and with hatred.  
  
Joan looked at her son.  
  
"What did you do now Brian? You're always causing trouble. Go to  
  
your room, I don't want to see you again tonight...you've done  
  
enough." She said coldly.  
  
Brian calmly went to the bathroom, cleaned and bandaged himself up.   
  
He could hear his parents fighting when his sister joined him in the  
  
bathroom.  
  
"It's always the same with you! They're fighting again because of  
  
you. I hate you Brian." She said before running away into her room.  
  
Brian went into his room and closed the door. He looked in the  
  
mirror and saw that his cheek was bleeding, but he didn't care. He  
  
swore to himself that one day he would be independent, he would have  
  
influence and that no one would ever treat him like that again. He  
  
swore that no one would ever be able to hurt him again, because he  
  
was going to make his heart invincible.   
  
There was only one way for him to do that, forget love. Love didn't  
  
exist. When you love, you hurt. And he didn't want to hurt anymore.  
  
He thought about Mikey, he was probably having a good time with their  
  
teacher at that very moment. He could still hear his parents yelling  
  
at each other, he felt so sad and lonely. He wanted to be away from  
  
this place. He wanted to be strong, but he was weak. And he hated  
  
that weakness. He felt completely alone and that terrified him. The  
  
tears wanted to fall but he wouldn't let them. He fought himself, he  
  
fought against his emotions and tried to control them. He wanted to  
  
destroy them and never feel the hurt again.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Meanwhile at Babylon....  
  
Brian waited for Michael to come out of the bathroom, he came out and  
  
Brian could see Michael was still angry at his "ex best friend."  
  
"Your friend didn't mean what he said." Brian told him.  
  
"He's an asshole."  
  
"Stop it Michael, he was hurting and felt betrayed because you like  
  
me a lot. He's scared to death that you would leave him so he decided  
  
to leave you first. That way he doesn't have to hear those words  
  
come out of your mouth. He just couldn't bear the rejection, so he  
  
rejected you first. He was protecting himself."  
  
"That's bullshit! He knows that I'm his friend and I'd never reject  
  
him."  
  
"No, he doesn't know that. You are his only friend Michael. He said  
  
horrible things but those words hide all his love for you! Believe me  
  
Michael. He needs you."  
  
"He said that he became my friend out of pity."  
  
"You know it's not the truth Michael. You don't stay friends for 3  
  
years with someone because of pity, you don't tell your secrets to  
  
someone because you feel pity for them."  
  
"He felt threatened for the first time since knowing you and he  
  
fucked up. Please Michael, think straight, you know him. He really  
  
needs you now, if you don't go now, you will lose him forever and  
  
both of you will regret it. Please Michael, don't let him down.  
  
Please don't."  
  
"Please Michael, save me from myself." Thought Brian.  
  
Brian lay on his bed, unable to sleep and his body hurting. He heard  
  
a noise coming from the window and walked over and looked through  
  
it. He saw Michael sitting in the tree outside his window.  
  
"Brian, open the window. I don't want to fall." Michael said.  
  
Gaping at him, Brian was surprised to see his best friend there. His  
  
heart beat faster and he didn't know what to do. He had almost  
  
convinced himself that he could live alone for the rest of his life.   
  
If he opened the window, did that make him weak and a loser?  
  
"Brian, please, open the window for me. We need to talk." Insisted  
  
Michael.  
  
Brian couldn't bear feeling the happiness in his heart at seeing  
  
Michael there outside his window, rather than at home with their  
  
teacher. It scared him to death.  
  
"Love hurts." He thought, then he turned away from Michael and laid  
  
down on his bed. He put his walkman on, wanting to just listen to  
  
music and not think.  
  
One hour later, Brian turned off the walkman and placed in on the  
  
table near his bed. He didn't know why but he wanted to look out the  
  
window again. That's not true, he knew why, he wanted to see if  
  
Michael was still there. He was sure Michael wasn't, who would stay  
  
in an uncomfortable tree for an hour?  
  
His heart skipped a beat when he saw that Michael was still there.  
  
Michael saw him and their eyes met.  
  
"Brian, please, I'll stay here until you open the window for me."   
  
Michael said.  
  
Brian just didn't know what to do, he turned away again and putting  
  
another tape in the walkman, sat on his bed and listened to it  
  
again. He didn't want to think, but the song that began playing made  
  
him...  
  
Out of sight, out of mind  
  
Out of time to decide  
  
Do we run? Should I hide  
  
For the rest of my life  
  
Can we fly? Do we stay?  
  
We could lose we could fail  
  
In the moment it takes  
  
To make plans or mistakes  
  
30 minutes, the blink of an eye  
  
30 minutes to alter our lives  
  
30 minutes to make up my mind  
  
30 minutes to finally decide  
  
30 minutes to whisper your name  
  
30 minutes to shoulder the blame  
  
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies  
  
30 minutes to finally decide  
  
Carousels in the sky  
  
That we shape with our ways  
  
Under shade silhouettes  
  
Casting shame  
  
Crying rain  
  
Can we fly do I stay  
  
We could lose, we could fail  
  
Either way, options change  
  
chances fade, Trains derail.  
  
30 minutes, the blink of the night  
  
30 minutes to alter our lives  
  
30 minutes to make up my mind  
  
30 minutes to finally decide  
  
30 minutes to whisper your name  
  
30 minutes to shoulder the blame  
  
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies  
  
30 minutes to finally decide  
  
To decide, to decide to decide to decide  
  
Brian stood and looked at himself in the mirror, turning back to the  
  
window, Michael smiled at him with hopeful eyes.  
  
Finally, Brian opened the window. He looked calm on the outside but  
  
inside he was a nervous wreck.   
  
"Thank you." Michael said after he climbed in, he was freezing from  
  
sitting outside so long.  
  
Brian said nothing but he noticed that Michael was cold. He opened a  
  
drawer and took a pull over and he threw it to Michael, Michael put  
  
it on.  
  
"So, what are you doing here? Your Mr. Parker must be missing you."   
  
Brian said coldly.  
  
Michael saw Brian's cheek and noticed how he walked like all of his  
  
body hurt him.  
  
"God Brian, what happened to you? Your father." Michael moved closer  
  
to his best friend.  
  
"It's nothing." He responded.  
  
"No, it's not nothing Brian."  
  
"Who cares? I thought you only had eyes for your teacher!"  
  
"You know I care about you Brian. You are my best friend and you  
  
will be always my best friend."  
  
Brian turned away, he didn't want to see Michael's face. Michael  
  
moved closer to him tough.  
  
"Brian, I will always be there no matter what happens. I will always  
  
be near you."  
  
Brian was overwhelmed by emotion and he wanted to hold it back. But  
  
Mikey was there, telling him that he always would be. Michael was  
  
his only friend, he was the only one he trusted. Michael was his  
  
whole world and the only person he loved. Brian realized this and  
  
for once, he wanted to believe that it was true. That someone like  
  
Michael, a kind person who genuinely cared for others, could care for  
  
him too. After all the horrible things he had said, Michael was  
  
there. He stopped trying to fight his emotions and let the tears  
  
fall. He turned and fell into Michael's arms and cried all of his  
  
emotions out for the first time.  
  
Michael wrapped him in his arms, he ran his fingers in Brian's hair  
  
and let Brian cry.  
  
****  
  
The older Brian was in the Novotny home, and the oddest sensation  
  
swept through him because he remember what happened in his bedroom.  
  
Debbie entered.  
  
"Oh, you're still awake."  
  
"Hi Debbie."  
  
"You look like shit. Are you okay? Where's Michael?"  
  
"At Brian's house."  
  
She was surprised.  
  
"Do you know why I came here Deb?"  
  
Debbie looked at the man.  
  
"No, why don't you tell me."  
  
"Because I'm a selfish prick. I wanted something and didn't think of  
  
the consequences...as always."  
  
Debbie smiled at him.  
  
"Well, you admitted it. That's a good sign."  
  
"The question is, what good does it do now?"  
  
"You are a big boy, I'm sure you'll figure it out."  
  
"I hope so." Said Brian.  
  
Michael woke up, alone, in Brian's bed. It was eleven a.m. and there  
  
was a note from Brian lying on the table.   
  
"Good morning, sleeping beauty! Had to go to church with my mom and  
  
sister. I didn't want to wake you. We'll be back at noon so, I'll  
  
see you this afternoon at your house. Use the window to get out. I  
  
don't think my father will be there but, use it just in case.  
  
Thank you for yesterday.   
  
Your best friend Brian.  
  
Ps: No Ps  
  
Michael smiled, he went home and found his mother cooking.  
  
"Hey, Michael. How are you honey?"  
  
"Fine, what are you cooking?"  
  
"Fried chicken and potatoes, did you have fun with Brian last night?  
  
Everything all right? I was surprised that you stayed the night at  
  
Brian's house."  
  
"Yeah! It wasn't planned. Where is Allan?"  
  
"He's still sleeping."  
  
"You really like him don't you, Michael. He's an adult with his own  
  
life and a life that won't include you in his future." Said Debbie.  
  
"I know, but it's hopeless. When I look at him, I see Brian, I don't  
  
understand it.  
  
"Here we go! It's been a long time since I've heard you say Brian's  
  
name like that."  
  
"Ma! Brian is my best friend and I love him. He needs me, he has such  
  
a hard life with his family."  
  
"I know honey. But you can't fight his fights for him. He still has  
  
a lot to learn, I know his father beats him but nothing is totally  
  
black and white. Brian can be a sweet heart but even I have a  
  
difficult time dealing with him. He's cold and emotionless, and when  
  
he does show something it's usually out of contempt or he's trying to  
  
provoke a fight. You get the impression that he thinks he's better  
  
than everyone. And I know that with me he at least tries to make an  
  
effort, so I can't even imagine what he's like with his parents."  
  
"Mom, his parents are monsters!"  
  
Debbie put her hand on Michael's face.  
  
"Honey, Brian's parents lives must be very hard too. We don't know  
  
exactly what goes on in their lives, but, when there's so much hatred  
  
it's because there's a lot of hurt. We don't know Joan and Jack's  
  
past, and Brian probably ignores it too. He's probably never wondered  
  
why his parents have become the way they are. He thinks of himself,  
  
his own pain and focuses on that. He doesn't see the pain in their  
  
hearts. That does not excuse them but if you keep thinking with  
  
hate, everything will be destroyed and nothing will ever heal.   
  
Brian's whole family acts like they're blind and deaf and living with  
  
strangers."  
  
"But Brian is a victim. He's not going to forgive and forget what his  
  
parents have done."  
  
"Who said forgive and forget? Just try to be honest and ask why to  
  
understand."  
  
Debbie went back to cooking.  
  
"Honey can you give me the salt?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Brian was sitting on the stairs, listening to everything Debbie had  
  
said. He realized that he really didn't know his parents. He just  
  
knew that his father was an asshole alcoholic who hated him and his  
  
mother was a cold Catholic. He searched his memory but there were  
  
only a few good memories, he hated his parents and had never really  
  
given them a chance. Debbie was right, he had always focused on his  
  
pain and believed that he owed them nothing. But deep inside he  
  
loved them, they were his parents. He didn't understand how after so  
  
much time and pain he could still feel anything for them. He  
  
remembered how it had hurt when his father came to him and told him  
  
he had Cancer, but he had stayed impassive. He remembered the anger  
  
he felt at being so weak while he grew up. He also remembered  
  
telling his father he was gay, he knew he was going to die and had to  
  
talk to him. Better late than never. He remembered the guilt he  
  
felt, he had never really talked to his father before so he made it  
  
short and sweet, "I'm gay."  
  
Jack was silent and angry and told him that he should die for his  
  
lifestyle, and he almost hit him. Brian responded back with all the  
  
hatred in him that it was his father that was going to die not him.  
  
He enjoyed saying it, he said it out of revenge but immediately felt  
  
guilty afterwards. No regrets, no apologies, that was the Kinney  
  
motto. He didn't understand why he felt almost happy at seeing his  
  
father after he came to the loft with that picture. He remembered  
  
that he was cold, always cold to his parents and understood that he  
  
had acted like his father. Just yesterday, his younger self had said  
  
some horrible things to Michael out of fear. But Michael was too  
  
good to let the anger take him over, he tried to talk to Brian and  
  
understand. Not like Brian, and not like his father. The lived in  
  
denial and focused on their own pain. He remembered when Jack had  
  
held Gus, and remembered the love he had shown towards the boy. It  
  
hurt Brian that it was never directed at him.  
  
It was too late for Brian to try with his mother now, and his father  
  
was dead. But it wasn't too late for his younger version. Perhaps  
  
he could try and persuade his younger version to make an effort. It  
  
might be a big mistake, he didn't believe in the power of love within  
  
the Kinney family. But he'd probably feel better for having at least  
  
tried, even if it failed. And no matter what, he knew his younger  
  
self wouldn't have to go through it alone, Mikey and Deb would be  
  
there.  
  
He had made the decision. He knew that he was going to be changing  
  
his future by doing this, but the truth was, he already had the  
  
sensation that changes were already happening.  
  
"Good morning." He said, joining Debbie and Michael in the  
  
kitchen. "Ooo, Chicken. Smells great."  
  
Michael was upset because he had to go shopping with his mother. He  
  
didn't like the idea of Mr. Parker and Brian being alone together.   
  
  
  
Brian listened closely to the last of Jennifer's advice as he held  
  
little Justin in his arms.  
  
"He has some allergies, I made a list."  
  
Brian took the list.  
  
"Okay don't worry."  
  
"I will come back at 7 PM, thank you very much! You saved me."  
  
"No problem." Answered Brian.  
  
Jennifer left after giving her son a big hug and a sweet kiss.   
  
Justin smiled at Brian.  
  
"What do you want to do?" Brian asked.  
  
"I want to play with you. We can play Spiderman, you are the Green  
  
Goblin and I'm Spiderman."  
  
Brian smiled, Justin was obsessed with Spiderman when he was a kid.   
  
He looked over and saw Justin trying to imitate his hero by jumping  
  
from the sofa to the table.   
  
"Stop it! It's dangerous." Brian corrected him.  
  
Suddenly Justin yelled.  
  
"You think you'll win but I am Spiderman, I will stop you!" And he  
  
gave punches with his small hands to Brian's stomach.  
  
Brian wanted to calm him and sat him on the sofa.  
  
"Listen Spiderman, if you don't calm down and watch the movie I have  
  
to show you, the world will be destroyed. So, what do you decide?"  
  
"I'm Spiderman. I am the hero. I always win and I don't want to see  
  
your evil movie and I will save the world!"  
  
Brian was getting really annoyed.  
  
"You're really stubborn, listen to me Sunshine! I want to stop the  
  
game!"  
  
Justin began to cry.  
  
Brian hurriedly went through the bag Jennifer had packed for Justin.   
  
Inside he found paper and everything needed to draw. He took Justin  
  
in his arms and sat him at the table and handed him a pen and some  
  
paper.  
  
"Listen to me, I know someone who would love to play Spiderman with  
  
you. And he even has a costume. But I want you to draw me a picture  
  
of Spiderman first."  
  
Justin looked at Brian with wide eyes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yep. Now be good and when Mikey gets here he'll play with you till  
  
your mom gets back."  
  
Justin smiled happily began to draw.  
  
Brian was happy that he found something to keep Justin occupied. The  
  
door opened, and the teenaged Brian entered.  
  
The young Brian glared immediately at his older version when their  
  
eyes met.  
  
"Mikey!" Yelled Brian.  
  
"He's not here, he went shopping with Debbie. He will be back soon."  
  
"Oh." Brian looked at the little blond boy sitting at the  
  
table. "Who is he? Your son?"  
  
"Mr. Parker" started laughing.  
  
"No, it's a long story. I'm baby-sitting him. This is Justin, stay  
  
away from him, this boy is worse than glue! He's kind but very  
  
stubborn."  
  
"I'll come back later."   
  
Brian didn't want to stay with his teacher. But his teacher took him  
  
by his arm and said,  
  
"I want you to stay, we need to talk."  
  
"I don't want to talk to you."  
  
"Please, it's important. It's about Mikey." Lied the older Brian,  
  
but he knew it was the only way to make him stay. Besides, it wasn't  
  
a complete lie too. He wanted to talk about Mikey too.  
  
Brian decided to stay and said,   
  
"What happened with him?"  
  
The two Brian's sat on the sofa.  
  
"Listen to me Brian, I really love Mikey and it's true I came here  
  
with the intention of being his first. To make love to him so he  
  
would never forget this moment and I wanted to be the person who took  
  
his virginity."  
  
Brian stared at his teacher and asked,  
  
"Vic wanted this for his nephew?"  
  
That surprised Brian.  
  
"Huh? No, no, it's much more complicated. I know you don't believe me  
  
but soon you will."  
  
"What do you mean? You're fucking weird! If you do something to  
  
Mikey I'll kill you!" Brian said angrily.  
  
"Don't worry, Brian, I won't touch the boy you love."  
  
"Mikey is my best friend. I care about him." Defended Brian.  
  
"You can say that to the whole world but not to me, you are in love  
  
with him and have been since you met him. You are crazy about him  
  
and since I've been here, you've felt threatened for the first time  
  
and you panicked. You were jealous and scared of losing him. That's  
  
the only truth."  
  
  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
"You can deny it, but I know you love him because I am you!"  
  
Brian's eyes widened.  
  
"What do you mean? I don't understand"  
  
"Allan Parker is not my name. My real name is Brian Kinney, I am  
  
from the future."  
  
Brian stood up.  
  
"You are a fucking psycho!"  
  
"Sit down, it's true and I can explain. I'm you, that's why Mikey  
  
has a crush on me. That's why I knew that you are in love with him.  
  
I know that you father beats you, I know that yesterday you wanted to  
  
erase all of your feelings of love in your heart to harden yourself  
  
and never feel the hurt again."  
  
Brian was angry.  
  
"It was Mikey, he told you that?"  
  
"No, and you know very well that Mikey didn't know what you were  
  
really attempting to do yesterday and didn't how much you love him.  
  
Plus, even if he knew Mikey wouldn't betray you and you know that."  
  
Brian glared at him again.  
  
"You're a liar. I don't believe you! I don't believe in time travel."  
  
"Neither did I 2 days ago, until I met Sophia our high school reunion  
  
and this crazy woman made a time machine."  
  
"Sophia...you know Sophia?"  
  
"I'm you remember? If you want, I could convince you easily, I will  
  
tell you things only you would know."  
  
Brian sat down and listened. After a few moments of listening, he was  
  
convinced that his older self really was in front of him. No one  
  
else could know the things he had revealed, except Brian himself.  
  
"This is crazy!" Said Brian.  
  
"I know."  
  
"You said you come here to take Mikey's virginity? Why?"  
  
"I was mad that he had his first time was with Mark Orton and it was  
  
because of me. Because I pushed him into his arms and when Mikey and  
  
I saw him again at the reunion, I was jealous."  
  
"Wait, wait! Mikey was with you? I mean, we are together? I mean,  
  
like lovers?"  
  
"Yeah, we are together as lovers."  
  
Brian felt happy and smiled wide.  
  
"So Mikey and I will be lovers. Even after all these years we're  
  
still together. Lovers for over 10 years? Wow!"  
  
The older Brian smile's faded away.  
  
"Actually, we've only been together for 3 months."  
  
  
  
"What? 3 MONTHS? It's impossible! I mean how..? What? why?" He  
  
stuttered in shock.  
  
"It took us 18 years to decide, before we were ready..."  
  
"Eighteen years? No, I mean, it can't be. Why? It's so fucking  
  
long. Did I moved somewhere else? It can't be that, I've already  
  
chosen a college near Pittsburgh to be near Mikey. He moved away? Oh  
  
god! He left me." Said an upset and worried young Brian.  
  
"No, we stayed in Pittsburgh together. We were always together, but  
  
as best friends. Always caring for each other."  
  
"I don't understand, why?"  
  
The older Brian stared at his younger self.  
  
"Yesterday, you held back your feelings. That was the beginning of  
  
it, it was what I did. For a long time. I convinced myself that  
  
love was bullshit, but it was a lie. I fooled myself and hurt myself  
  
as a result. I made mistakes. I fucked every gay man in Pittsburgh,  
  
and hurt the man I loved. I took drugs and drank, hoping to forget  
  
my troubles. I never felt threatened until we were 29 and David came  
  
along, my world became a mess. Then there was Justin..."  
  
"Justin?"  
  
"The little blond boy at this table was my first boyfriend. It was a  
  
disaster."  
  
Brian looked at the little blond boy with disgust.  
  
"I'm going to fuck him? Jesus Christ...he's a baby."  
  
"He was 17 when I met him."  
  
"You did say that my life was a real mess."  
  
"Well, no, not entirely. I mean, it took 18 years for me to be ready  
  
for Mikey and I now I'm truly happy. I love him and we both have  
  
grown up a lot."  
  
"Eighteen years? Do you have a picture? I want to see what Mikey  
  
looks like as a man."  
  
Brian took a picture out of his wallet. The younger Brian looked at  
  
the picture.  
  
"He is so sexy! Just like in my dreams when I try to...you know."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"He is fucking beautiful, wow."  
  
Brian smiled at him.  
  
"Brian, I told you all of this for an important reason, I want you to  
  
do something I never had the courage to do."  
  
"About Mikey?"  
  
"No, about your parents, about your father."  
  
Brian's smiled faded away instantly.  
  
"Tell him that you are gay."  
  
At first Brian didn't want to tell his father that he was gay. But  
  
his older self told him many things that moved him, including his  
  
father's death. He decided to talk to Deb and Mikey about this, he  
  
didn't tell them it was their teacher's idea and he kept "Mr.  
  
Parker"'s identity a secret.  
  
Debbie was all for it, she said that it was important for Brian's  
  
parents to know who their son really is and she reassured him that he  
  
would always have her support, in case something bad happened.  
  
Michael, however, was worried for his best friend. He preferred that  
  
Brian wait another year or two before revealing his secret, but he  
  
did not voice his opinion. He didn't want to scare his best friend  
  
with negative thoughts. He assured Brian he had his full support,  
  
but urged him to think clearly because after Brian talked to his  
  
parents many things would change.  
  
The older Brian himself was aware that this would be a life impacting  
  
revelation and that it was not easy to do. He never wanted to tell  
  
his parent's that he was gay because he was scared that he would lose  
  
them. Or that they would use his sexuality as an excuse to hurt him  
  
more because he had disappointed them.  
  
After two hours, the young Brian made his decision. He didn't want to  
  
miss his chance even as small as it may be and went home.  
  
Justin finished drawing a beautiful Spiderman picture and Michael  
  
played with him. Justin wore Michael's Spiderman costume, he'd had it  
  
since he was seven years old. Of course, it was too big for Justin,  
  
but Justin was happy to have it.  
  
Michael tried to play without thinking of his best friend but it was  
  
hard to not worry. He prayed that Brian had made the right choice.  
  
Everybody was so tense but Justin's antics and laughter kept them  
  
busy.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Jack was in the garden. He was sober and seemed calm. Brian,  
  
extremely tense, joined him.  
  
"Hi, Sonny Boy."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Your arm still hurt?"  
  
"No, it's fine."  
  
"Good. Help me to pick up this foliage."  
  
Brian help him, his heart jumping from his nerves.  
  
"You asked me where I was yesterday."  
  
"Yeah, and like the coward you are, you didn't answer. What happened  
  
to you was your own fault Sonny Boy. I don't like cowards and liars,  
  
you should be ashamed."  
  
Brian was angry but managed to keep his control.  
  
"I thought that you wouldn't like hearing where I was, so I kept my  
  
mouth shut."  
  
"Like I said, you're coward."  
  
Jack looked at this son.  
  
"Brian! If you're going to help me do a better job than that!"  
  
"Do you want to know where I was yesterday?"  
  
"If I have to pay for whatever trouble you got into I don't."  
  
"You always talk about money..."  
  
"Because it's important son. Do you realize how expensive it is to  
  
raise you? And your sister?"  
  
"Why do you do it?"  
  
"I have no choice, I didn't choose to have you...that was all your  
  
mother's fault. And she's paying for it too."  
  
Brian looked at his father.  
  
"I was on Liberty Avenue yesterday."  
  
Jack continued to pick up the foliage.  
  
"It's the gay area of the city, I went there because I'm gay."  
  
Jack stopped and said nothing, after few seconds he glared at his son.  
  
"You're what?"  
  
"Gay. I'm gay."  
  
Brian said it and he didn't like the look he saw in his father's eyes.  
  
"You're telling me that you are a fucking fairy?" He yelled.  
  
"I am."  
  
"What have I done to deserve this? You're not my son, you're a  
  
pervert! Don't look at me like that! You deserve to die! You're not  
  
my son anymore!" He yelled.  
  
Brian was deeply hurt but he knew that the news wouldn't be welcomed  
  
by his father.  
  
"I told you and I'm not a coward and I don't care that you don't like  
  
it. I'm gay and I will be who I am."  
  
"Oh, you are proud to be a faggot? What news! I knew it. A fucking  
  
fairy, and I'm sure that your best friend Michael is a queer too.   
  
This is a nightmare! And you fucked him in my own house! You made  
  
this perversion in my house!" He yelled.  
  
"No, it's not what you think.."  
  
"Shut up! Don't talk to me ever again! You're not my son anymore, I  
  
don't want to see you again. I will call my cousin Beth and tomorrow  
  
you will live with her. I DON'T WANT YOU IN THIS HOUSE."  
  
"What? I won't go anywhere! Beth lives in San Francisco!"  
  
"I made my decision! I know what you want, you probably want to stay  
  
in Michael's home. You really like going there and staying there but  
  
I won't let you! I won't let you to see that fairy again! It all  
  
started because of him!"  
  
"No! I was already gay before I met him."  
  
"I don't care, you will do as I say! You have no choice and remember  
  
that, you are 17 not 18! You will go to San Francisco or you can go  
  
into the army! But you never live with us again."  
  
Jack threw all the foliage he had picked up violently and left Brian  
  
alone in the yard. Brian felt tears roll in his face, he didn't want  
  
to leave Pittsburgh. He began to regret what he had done. He  
  
panicked, he needed to see Michael. They would probably have a  
  
solution. He heard his father screaming at him to come back as he  
  
ran from the yard.  
  
****  
  
Back at the Novotny house, Jennifer was picking her son up.  
  
"Thank you very much. Was he good?"  
  
"Ya, he was good." Brian answered.  
  
"He is so sweet." Said Debbie.  
  
"Did you have fun Justin?" She asked her son.  
  
"Yeah! I played Spiderman with Michael! It was fun. Can I came back  
  
soon?"  
  
"Oh I don't know honey, today was special..."  
  
"I want to come back! I want to play Spiderman again!" He yelled.  
  
"Justin, Sunshine...you'll be able to play Spiderman with other  
  
people."  
  
"No! There's a Spiderman costume here! I want to came back!"  
  
"He is so stubborn.. I'm sorry." Jennifer apologized.  
  
"It's nothing. He is so cute. Michael could be baby sit him  
  
sometime." Said Debbie.  
  
Justin smiled. Michael hesitated.  
  
"I don't know. Will I get paid?"  
  
Debbie glared at her son.  
  
"Okay, I'll be happy too." Said Michael, not really convinced by his  
  
words.  
  
"Thank you, Justin seems to like you very much. I will bring him  
  
over next Sunday."  
  
"That sounds great." Said Debbie.  
  
Jennifer left and Michael seemed upset.  
  
"Ma! How could you do that? This boy doesn't like me, he just like  
  
my toys!"  
  
"Why did you accept then?" Said Debbie.  
  
"I.." Michael began.  
  
Brian laughed.  
  
"It's not funny!" Replied Michael.  
  
"So what Mikey, you'll have money! And when I will be there, I'll  
  
help you with him...he is so cute!"  
  
  
  
A half hour later, the door opened and Brian burst through. Seeing  
  
his tear stained face, Debbie, Michael and the older Brian looked at  
  
him with worry.  
  
Michael move closer to his best friend.  
  
"Are you all right? What happened? He beat you?"  
  
"No."  
  
Michael and Debbie breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
Brian took Michael in arms and after few seconds he said,  
  
"Mikey, he wants to send me to San Francisco. I don't want leave.   
  
Do something."  
  
Michael's heart seemed to stop and he was in shock. He thought that  
  
things would be bad but he never thought that Mr. Kinney would send  
  
him away.  
  
The older Brian was in shock too, he panicked as guilt washed over  
  
him.  
  
"What I have done?" He thought.   
  
Debbie placed her hand on Brian's shoulder as she joined her "boys."  
  
"Hey, calm down. I'm sure he wasn't serious. He was angry." She  
  
said softly.  
  
Brain looked at her.  
  
"No, he made his decision. He said I'll leave tomorrow." Said Brian  
  
desperately.  
  
When Michael heard the word "tomorrow" and was filled with fear and  
  
pain, his heart was breaking.  
  
"You can't just leave tomorrow like that! Even if he was serious,  
  
it's not so simple to send you away. Things will need to prepared  
  
before...that gives you time Brian." Said Debbie with a calm and  
  
comforting voice.  
  
But inside, Debbie's blood boiled. She felt guilt too. She always saw  
  
Brian with his "I don't give a shit" attitude, but the boy in front  
  
of her now was scared, in pain and panicking.  
  
Brian looked at her.  
  
"Can I stay here? Can I can stay with you? I'll found a part time job  
  
to pay my way. Can I?" He asked with hope in his eyes.  
  
Michael looked at his mother with the same hope in his eyes.  
  
"Oh, Brian..if only it was up to me. Of course you can stay with us,  
  
but, you are not an adult yet. You're only 17 and if your parents  
  
don't agree, I can't do anything." Said Debbie with a sad but  
  
realistic voice.  
  
"They won't let me." Said Brian, tears filling his eyes  
  
again. "They hate me."   
  
The older Brian stood in silence when his younger version glared at  
  
him with all his anger. He felt the guilt overwhelm him.  
  
Brian ran to Michael's bedroom, wanting to be alone. Michael moved to  
  
follow him, but "Allan" stopped him and said,  
  
"Mikey, be strong for both of u.. you two." Michael had tears in  
  
eyes, nodded, then went to his room.  
  
Before he entered in his room, he heard Brian crying. He waited a few  
  
minutes by the door, trying to calm himself down. He had to hold  
  
back his tears. He took a deep breath and entered. He sat near him  
  
and put his hand on his best friend.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Brian continued to cry.  
  
"What I have done?" He yelled.  
  
"I'm sure everything will be okay Brian. You won't leave, we will  
  
figure something out." Said Michael.  
  
Brian looked at his best friend and saw so much love and concern in  
  
Michael's eyes.  
  
"Mikey, you heard what you mother said...it's hopeless...I want to  
  
die."  
  
Michael felt fear when he heard that and moved closer to Brian.  
  
"Don't say that ever again Brian!"  
  
"Who would care?" Asked Brian.  
  
Michael looked Brian in his eyes.  
  
"I care Brian. Promise me you'll never do something stupid to  
  
yourself! Brian promise me." Ordered Michael.  
  
Tears rolled on Brian's face.  
  
"I promise." He said, then took Michael in his arms and held him  
  
tightly.  
  
Michael caressed Brian's hair.  
  
"Even if you leave, it will only be for one year. After that you can  
  
come back. Free and independent. You are so brilliant, you can go to  
  
a great college and build yourself a great life. It's only one  
  
year. And next year you will be leaving Pittsburgh to go college  
  
anyhow."  
  
Michael tried to convince himself as well as Brian. Yes, he knew that  
  
in one year Brian would leave for college and he was prepared for  
  
that to happen in a year. Not now. And he knew that once in San  
  
Francisco, even after one year, it wouldn't be easy to come back to  
  
Pittsburgh. Perhaps, he never would come back to Pittsburgh. The  
  
only thing here for Brian, was Michael.  
  
Brian pulled away from Michael.  
  
"What? You don't understand Michael! I don't want to leave! I already  
  
chose a college near here, I wasn't planning to leave."  
  
Michael was surprised to heard that. They never talked much about the  
  
future because Michael didn't want to think of their separation too  
  
soon. And now, Brian just told him that he will plan to stay here.  
  
"But Brian, you can go to a better college than that with your  
  
capacities." Insisted Michael.  
  
"No, I just want to stay here. I chose a college here because I need  
  
to be.to be near you Mikey!" Brian said.  
  
Michael's heart jumped, deep down he was truly happy but he needed to  
  
be realistic.  
  
"Brian, what you said made me really happy but you can't spoil your  
  
future. You deserve better, you deserve a really good college."  
  
"I won't spoil my future if you're near me. All I need is you. I  
  
don't want to leave!"  
  
Michael took Brian in his arms again and kissed him on his forehead.  
  
Suddenly Brian's insecurities got the better of him and he pulled  
  
away.  
  
"Wait...it's you! You want me to leave! 'It's only a year' you  
  
said. You don't care if I leave, do you? I'm so stupid."  
  
Brian's fears led him to think again that nobody could love him. That  
  
once again love had hurt him and he was angry. Michael saw this in  
  
Brian's eyes and he looked at him seriously.  
  
"Listen to me Brian! Don't say that ever again! I don't want you to  
  
leave! I was just trying to think of what is best for you because  
  
your happiness is the most important thing to me. You are the most  
  
important person in my life and don't ever doubt about that again."  
  
All of his fears subsided as Brian was filled with a warm feeling.   
  
Michael put a tender kiss on Brian's lips. Brian and Michael smiled  
  
at each other.  
  
"Mikey! We can run away. Go to New York. We can live together, find  
  
jobs, your Uncle Vic can help us." He said with desperate hope.  
  
Michael smiled.  
  
"We will find a small apartment and you can get a part time job and  
  
I'll get a full time job." Michael said.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"You are so brilliant and you'll need the extra time for studying.   
  
That's how I can help."  
  
"Thank you. It will be hard in the beginning but it's possible, we  
  
will be together and it's the most important thing. Together, we will  
  
be invincible." Said Brian with enthusiasm.  
  
"Yeah!" Michael agreed.  
  
Brian's smiled faded away.  
  
"But, we won't do it.. we won't go in New York, will we?"  
  
Michael had a sad smile.  
  
"We can't.. it would be a mistake.."  
  
"I know.." Replied Brian sadly.  
  
Michael took Brian's hand in his.  
  
"Brian, you won't go tomorrow. My mother is right, it's such short  
  
notice. That gives you time, time to talk again with your father,  
  
time to persuade him, time to try something to staying here. You must  
  
fight for what you want and confront them."  
  
"I have to try. I don't want to leave."  
  
"But you must promise me not to do something stupid, no matter what  
  
happens. Promise me that you'll be strong through whatever happens.   
  
Promise me."  
  
"I promise."  
  
They held each other again. Brian kissed Michael softly on the neck  
  
just as Debbie called them to dinner.  
  
Brian and Michael joined Debbie.  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
"Me either." Said Brian.  
  
"At your age you need to eat and have energy! I made your favorites,  
  
Brian! Sit down and eat kid!"  
  
Michael smiled.  
  
"Where is Allan?"  
  
"He's taking a shower, he seemed very worried about you two."  
  
The young Brian didn't know what to think about his older version. He  
  
was angry with him and at the same time, he knew they were the same  
  
person. But, this older version was a different him tough. He must  
  
have purposely chosen this moment to take a shower, and avoid dealing  
  
with his teenaged self.  
  
After few minutes, the door bell rang. Debbie opened the door and saw  
  
a furious Jack Kinney in front of her.  
  
"I know my son is here!" He yelled.  
  
Debbie was surprise but she wasn't scared by Jack.  
  
"Yes, he is here." She answered calmly.  
  
"Sonny Boy! You come back with me NOW!" He yelled.  
  
Brian and Michael stood up in silence.  
  
"I said NOW! Do you want to make things more complicated?"  
  
Michael and Brian looked at each other. Brian didn't want to go with  
  
his father.  
  
Jack tried to enter the house but Debbie stood between him and Brian.  
  
"Let them say good bye." She ordered  
  
"This is none of your business." He snapped.  
  
"I'm warning you now, I will call the police."  
  
Jack was pissed off.  
  
"Do it fast, Sonny Boy! This disgusts me! Your son perverted mine."  
  
Debbie glared at him.  
  
Brian and Michael didn't want to be separated. Michael put his hand  
  
on Brian's face and caressed him softly. Brian's eyes filled with  
  
tears.  
  
"I don't want to leave." Whispered Brian.  
  
"Remember, be strong Brian. And we will see each other tomorrow at  
  
school."  
  
"Right."  
  
Michael move closer and softly kissed Brian's cheek.  
  
"Don't forget how much I love you Brian." Then he kiss him on the  
  
neck.  
  
Brian took him in his arms and said,  
  
"I love you too, Mikey. Always have, always will." Then he put his  
  
lips against Michael's in a kiss. They share a tender, soft and long  
  
kiss without deepening it because they didn't want to start something  
  
that perhaps they couldn't finish. Then they gave small, butterfly  
  
kisses all over one another's faces.  
  
Jack yelled at what he saw  
  
"That's enough! Stop that!"  
  
"I've been in love with you since the day I met you." Brian  
  
confessed.  
  
Michael looked at his best friend.  
  
"Me too, I love you and always will love you. Don't ever forget that!"  
  
Brian smiled.  
  
"Thank you! See you tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah! See you tomorrow."  
  
They smiled at each other and finally pulled away. Brian followed  
  
his father and Jack slammed the door violently behind him.  
  
The older Brian stood at the top of the stairs, he felt so helpless  
  
as he watched his teenaged self leave.  
  
Debbie moved closer to her son.  
  
"Honey.." She said softly.  
  
Michael tried to smile at her  
  
"I'm so proud of you son."  
  
Finally, Michael let go of his tears and began to cry, he fell into  
  
his mother's arms.  
  
"I don't want him to leave. I just couldn't bear it Mom. I love him  
  
so much, I can't live without him."  
  
Michael cried desperately, finally able to let all his emotions out  
  
now that he didn't have to be strong for Brian.  
  
Debbie held him tight.  
  
"I'm sure everything will be okay, honey."  
  
Brian stood there and knew he had never seen Mikey hurting so much in  
  
his life, not even when Ben was in the hospital. And it was all his  
  
fault. Michael's pain was due to his stupidity, because he was  
  
selfish. He felt alone. He needed his Michael near him, but he wasn't  
  
there. And perhaps he wouldn't be in his future now. He felt  
  
completely lost by the turn of events.  
  
Later in the night, he couldn't sleep. He thought about his life and  
  
what he would do now. He looked at the small time machine. He was  
  
afraid to know what his future could be. If his younger version left  
  
for San Francisco everything could change. And not only his life  
  
with Mikey, he might never meet Lindsay and his thoughts went to his  
  
son, Gus. What if he lost his son as well?   
  
He saw a shadow and heard Michael's voice as his bedroom door opened.  
  
"I can't sleep."   
  
"Neither can I." Replied Brian. "I am sorry Michael, for what's  
  
happened."  
  
"Can I stay with you?" Asked Michael.  
  
Brian was surprised.  
  
"I know I could go to my Mom, but...I don't know why, I need to be  
  
near you...I..."  
  
"It's okay. Come on, you don't need to explain."  
  
Michael lay down and Brian took him into his arms. Michael felt much  
  
more calm and they stay like that, silently in each other's arms, in  
  
the darkness of the night.  
  
The next day Michael went to school and smiled at "Mr. Parker" in  
  
class.  
  
Brian smiled at his student. Michael waited to see his best friend.   
  
Time passed and the other students arrived, but not Brian. Then it  
  
was time to start class and the seat near Michael was still empty.  
  
Michael waited though, Brian was always late he told himself and  
  
continued to hope for the best.  
  
The seat near Michael stayed empty.   
  
After school Michael and his "teacher" agreed to go to Brian's home  
  
and discover what was going on. Michael was scared to death and  
  
Brian tried to come up with something to say to his father, he didn't  
  
want to make this mess worse.  
  
They knocked at the door, but nobody answered. Michael climbed up the  
  
tree outside his friend's bedroom window and looked inside, nothing.   
  
The house seemed empty, and their car wasn't there.  
  
"He's gone." Brian uttered in shock.  
  
Michael didn't want to believe it. How was it possible? In only one  
  
day they had packed him up and shipper him off to San Francisco?  
  
"Oh no, no! No! No!" Yelled Michael.  
  
Tears filled Michael's eyes and Brian tried to calm him before he  
  
became hysterical.  
  
"Listen to me...this is all my fault and I will fix it. We're going  
  
to go to your house, pack some clothes and then we are going to San  
  
Francisco to bring him back."  
  
"I don't even know where his cousin lives."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I know...mean, I have some family in San  
  
Francisco, they will help us." Corrected Brian.  
  
Hope sprung in Michael's eyes.  
  
***  
  
"Ma! Ma!" Michael yelled as he ran into his home.  
  
"She went shopping." An all too familiar voice said.  
  
Michael and "Mr. Parker" turned and stared in shock as Brian stood  
  
before them, smiling widely.  
  
"Brian?!" Michael asked in disbelief.  
  
"In the flesh. Hey Mikey, you look like you just saw a ghost."  
  
The older Brian could only stare as Michael jumped into the arms of  
  
his best friend and held him tightly.  
  
"Mikey! Stop! I can't breathe!"  
  
Michael pulled away.  
  
"Sorry. So, what happened? We thought they sent you off to San  
  
Francisco. We were at your house but no one was there. I was scared  
  
to death." Michael said, tears shimmered in his eyes but his smile  
  
was genuine. He was still worried though.  
  
"I'll tell you everything, don't worry." Brian said. "But before I  
  
do, I have great news...I'm not leaving! I'm staying in Pittsburgh!"  
  
"Is this true?" Michael asked eagerly.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
The older Brian smiled as the memory of what had happened between his  
  
father and him when they got back to the Kinney house after leaving  
  
Michael's.  
  
It was really bad when they first got home. Jack ordered him to pack  
  
his bags and when his mother came home Jack had told her everything,  
  
including his decision to send Brian away. Joan began yelling at her  
  
husband, and this time when they fought, Brian didn't hide in his  
  
room...he joined them.  
  
His mother had called him a pervert and a demon, reeling in shock at  
  
the truth of his sexuality. Everyone had yelled and screamed, it was  
  
a horrible, horrible fight. Brian's sister sat on the sofa in tears,  
  
glaring at him. It was hell.  
  
Joan wished that Brian had never been born. She was terrified of  
  
what her family would say if they learned the truth, the opinion of  
  
the her family had always been important to her. They had told her  
  
it was a mistake to marry Jack and she didn't want to prove them  
  
right. Her pride was too important to her and she didn't want to  
  
send Brian away because of it. She didn't want to let others see  
  
that the happy Kinney family didn't exist.  
  
Jack didn't care about her opinions, he yelled and hit her and she  
  
fell to the floor. She stood up, and turned her cold eyes to Brian.  
  
"It's all your fault." She accused.  
  
Brian was furious. His father wanted him gone and his mother only  
  
wanted him around to keep the facade going. For the first time he  
  
summoned up every ounce of his courage, he had nothing to lose...it  
  
couldn't possibly be any worse than this in San Francisco.  
  
"Shut up!" He screamed.  
  
They looked at him, shocked and angry.  
  
"How dare you well at us!" Yelled Jack.  
  
He moved towards Brian and Brian said,  
  
"If you beat me, I'll go to the police and tell them everything! That  
  
you beat me and my mother, that you are an alcoholic asshole who  
  
abuse's his family. And I can prove it."  
  
Brian lifted his shirt, revealing the bruises on his torso Jack had  
  
given him on Saturday night.  
  
"You can't do that Sonny Boy."  
  
"Why not? Because they might send me away from here to an orphanage  
  
or a school for abused kids? I don't care anymore! You already  
  
chose to send me away, I have nothing to lose. I'll tell every  
  
secret. Mom will have to live with the embarrassment when her family  
  
learns the truth, and all of your precious church friends too. And  
  
you dad, you'll be in prison."  
  
Brian's parents paled.  
  
"And your sister? What do you think will happen to your sister? If  
  
you even care!" Snapped his mother.  
  
"I don't give a shit about her. She hates me like you two do. This  
  
is my life, and if I can't stay here it will be the end of the happy  
  
Kinney family image."  
  
Silence filled the house. They knew he was serious, he had nothing  
  
to lose and he said everything with great determination. Brian  
  
wasn't scared to do it, and he made it clear to them, his hatred  
  
shining through. He was ready to destroy everything to save himself.  
  
"You aren't going away." His father said. "But things can't be  
  
fixed that easily..."  
  
Brian felt better and breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Accept me for who I am, let me do what I want and I can make an  
  
effort."  
  
"You can't be gay!" His mother said, still concerned with the  
  
opinions of others.  
  
"I am gay. But if it is that important to you, I can keep my mouth  
  
shut and not let it be common knowledge."  
  
Brian forced himself to make that compromise.  
  
"I want to continue to see Mikey."  
  
"That's out of question." Yelled his father.  
  
"Then I'll go to the police." He said quietly.  
  
Brian's parents felt trapped.  
  
"I want you to see a Psychiatrist." His mother told him.  
  
"Whatever you want mom. But you will be wasting your money, but I'll  
  
go."  
  
Brian was determined to compromise with them, but he would not let  
  
them pretend he wasn't gay.  
  
"I'm going to go make dinner." Joan said, as if nothing had ever  
  
happened.  
  
Jack looked at him in anger,  
  
"You are a fucking shit Sonny Boy. Go pick up the foliage that you  
  
left out in the yard.  
  
NOW!"  
  
Brian obeyed. Things weren't totally fixed, they would continue to  
  
pretend to be a happy family but thing was different...he wasn't  
  
scared of them anymore.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
After Brian told Michael what had happened, he went to see "Mr.  
  
Parker" who was upstairs in his bedroom.  
  
"You don't need to explain what happened. I remember." The older  
  
Brian said.  
  
"Good. I'm sorry it wasn't a happy ending, they didn't ask me to  
  
stay out of love. But I had no choice."  
  
"It's useless to explain, I'm you and I was there when this thing  
  
happened. Yeah, it's weird, but it's true."  
  
They smiled at one another.  
  
"I'm going back tomorrow, I've done enough here." Brian said.  
  
"Do you think our future is a good one?" The teenaged Brian asked.  
  
"That's up to us! Sure, everything will be different...I'm already  
  
different." The older Brian answered.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm still insecure, but better, much better."  
  
"Me too." Agreed the teenager. "I need to talk to Mikey about what  
  
we said to each other before I left with my father last night."  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
"You don't want to know about what's going to happen?"  
  
"I'm you, I already know what are you thinking about..you know."  
  
With an acknowledging look, the teenaged Brian left his older version  
  
to go speak with his best friend.  
  
Brian looked at his time machine.  
  
"I hope Mikey will understand what my younger self is asking of him.   
  
I don't want to lose him." Brian and Michael sat together in Michael's bedroom, their hearts  
  
thumping wildly in their chests.  
  
"I can't believe you blackmailed your parents. That was fucking  
  
dangerous, what id they didn't agree? I don't even want to think  
  
about it." Michael said.  
  
"I know, I was scared too. But I knew everything would be okay. They  
  
are cowards and I finally figured out what their weak spots were."  
  
"And now?" Michael asked.  
  
"Well, I don't expect things to change really. Yes, it will be a  
  
little different, but it's going to take time."  
  
"Where were you today?"  
  
"Mom took me to see a Psychiatrist." Brian answered with a laugh.  
  
Michael moved closer to his friend.  
  
"Because you're gay? That's stupid."  
  
"I know, but I promised to continue to go and the Psychiatrist is  
  
really fucking hot."  
  
After everything that had happened, and all they had said, Michael  
  
didn't like hearing Brian's last words. He wondered how Brian was  
  
feeling about it, after all, they said they were in love and Michael  
  
had been hoping they could be boyfriends. But now he had a bad  
  
feeling inside.   
  
There was a short silence before Brian continued.  
  
"I know what are you thinking about Mikey." He paused. "Forget it,  
  
I won't be your boyfriend."  
  
Michael froze as the hurt invaded him.  
  
"But." He started to speak but his voice cracked.  
  
"I know." Brian said in hurriedly. "But I'm not ready for a  
  
relationship. We're not ready for a relationship! We are only 17!  
  
It's too fucking young!"  
  
"But we love."  
  
Brian interrupted him.  
  
"Yeah, I know and I meant what I said to you yesterday. It was the  
  
truth. But I also remember how jealous I was over 'Mr. Parker.' I  
  
also remember how easy it was for me to doubt you when you were  
  
talking about my going away for a year. I know me, my fucking world  
  
is centered on you. It's too much for your shoulders. Sooner of  
  
later I'd make your life a living hell because of my insecurities. I  
  
need my own life, and so do you. The past two days were really  
  
difficult for us and I had to rely on you to be the strong one. A  
  
relationship now would just fuck it all up. I want to know who I am  
  
Mikey, what I can do all by myself. I need to try and open up to  
  
others besides you. And so do you. It's going to take some time,  
  
and we can share what we learn together.  
  
Brian was worried. He hoped Mikey would understand what he was  
  
saying. He didn't know if he'd survive losing his friend now, but he  
  
was trying to do what was best for everyone.  
  
Michael listened his best friend, he was hurt but he understood. They  
  
needed to grow up, they needed to take their time.  
  
"I guess you didn't talk only about your sexuality with your  
  
Psychiatrist?" Asked Michael with a laugh to Brian.  
  
Brian didn't answer, he just smiled.  
  
"So you found a really good college to go away to?" Michael asked as  
  
he continued his phrase in his head "that's far away from me" he  
  
thought with sadness.  
  
Brian looked at Michael.  
  
"What? No, I told you, I already decided to stay near you! Hey Mikey,  
  
just because we're not going to be lovers now doesn't mean I'm going  
  
to leave you and our friendship is over. I said I wanted to discover  
  
myself but I can't do that of you're not my friend anymore. I need  
  
you near me. Nothing will change that."  
  
Michael was relieved and took his best friend in his arms.  
  
"It will take time, I just pray that he won't take 18 years." Brian  
  
whispered.  
  
Michael pulled away.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing." Brian said and kissed Michael's lips quickly.  
  
Then he stood up and said,  
  
"I'm hungry, let's go downstairs Mikey."  
  
Michael smiled at his best friend and followed him.  
  
*****  
  
During dinner, Mr. Parker announced he was going back to New York.  
  
Michael was really disappointed, he really liked his teacher. He  
  
didn't know why but he appreciated him very much.  
  
After dinner, Michael joined "Mr. Parker" in Vic's bedroom.  
  
"I'll miss you." Michael said.  
  
Brian smiled at him and took him into his arms.  
  
"Thanks." He said to his Mikey, then he pulled away.  
  
"Good bye Mikey."  
  
"Good bye Allan."  
  
*****  
  
The next morning, Brian took a deep breath and went back to his own  
  
time.  
  
******  
  
Brian appeared in front of Sophia.  
  
"Welcome back, Brian." She said.  
  
Brian was confused.  
  
"My head is killing me. How long was I gone?"  
  
"Almost 30 seconds, no more."  
  
"What! Wow!"  
  
"How are you?" She asked.  
  
"Fine. Confused, but fine." He said.  
  
"Sit down for a minute." She ordered.  
  
Suddenly the door opened and Michael entered.  
  
"Brian?" He said.  
  
Michael was worried because Brian's face was pale. Michael glared at  
  
Sophia.  
  
"Sophia! What were you two up too?"  
  
"Nothing." She said innocently.  
  
"I know you, you and Brian were always getting into weird  
  
predicaments. I saw him follow you and when he didn't come back  
  
I..."  
  
Brian interrupted him.  
  
"Sophia, you remember Mikey?" Brian asked.  
  
"Yes, I have a good memory! Hi Michael."  
  
Michael realized he wasn't being polite to her.  
  
"Hello, Sophia."  
  
"I'm glad to see you two are still best friends."  
  
Brian stood up and put his arms around Michael's shoulder and said  
  
proudly,  
  
"Actually, we are lovers now."  
  
Michael blushed.  
  
"That's great! Since when?"  
  
"Eight years.we got together after I came back to college and found a  
  
job, we committed to each other 4 years ago."  
  
"Congratulations!" said Sophia.  
  
"I have son too, his name is Gus."  
  
Sophia was surprised.  
  
"Huh? But.I don't understand."  
  
"A lesbian friend of mine wanted a baby, I just jerked off in the  
  
tube.."  
  
"Oh! Congratulations. Your parents must be happy to have a grandson!"  
  
"Actually my father is dead now but yes, he really loved his grandson  
  
even if he knew him only for two years."  
  
Brian found it ironic that his father had never showed him affection  
  
but had given everything to Gus. When he and Michael had their  
  
commitment ceremony, Jack had been there but not Joan. He knew that  
  
his dad probably only came because it would upset his mother. In his  
  
own way, a way that Brian had never understood, his father probably  
  
had loved him. He knew his parents didn't have an easy life, he  
  
didn't forget all the things they had done to him, but he could  
  
forgive them now. His mom was still focused on her religion and she  
  
was trying to make an effort to accept Brian and Michael's  
  
relationship, but the Kinney family was still pretending.  
  
"And you Michael?" Asked Sophia.  
  
"I have a comic book store and created a comic called 'Rage' with  
  
Justin, a friend."  
  
"Justin! The boy who you used to baby sit?"  
  
"Yeah, he is not a boy now though, he's 19."  
  
Brian smiled.  
  
"And he has two fabulous brothers who teach them the secrets of the  
  
gay world."  
  
"He is gay too?"  
  
Michael nodded.  
  
"Yeah. It wasn't easy for him when his father found out. He blamed  
  
me and Brian for that. Justin moved into my mom's house and was  
  
staying in my old room. He's living with a violinist he met in  
  
school."  
  
They talked about the past and afterwards Brian and Michael left the  
  
reunion and met their friends at Woody's. Ted and Emmett were there,  
  
they had become lovers only 3 months before.  
  
Brian spotted David near the bar, he was friend's with Michael.   
  
Michael had met him when he hurt his neck, David was the Chiropractor  
  
who had treated him. Brian didn't like him at first sight and had  
  
confronted David right away, making his relationship with Michael  
  
clear and David understood.  
  
David was getting ready to move to Portland to be near his son, Brian  
  
was happy to see him going.  
  
Then Ben joined them. Ben was another friend of Michael's too, Brian  
  
liked him. Ben was dating Brian's friend Peter and they decided to  
  
go to Tibet for 6 months together.  
  
"So, Sweetie! Did you see Mark Orton?" Asked Emmett.  
  
Brian's smile faded away. Mark was the one who took Michael's  
  
virginity, not a very good memory for him.  
  
"Yeah I saw him and he is still hot." Said Michael.  
  
Brian wrapped his arms around his lover.  
  
"He's not that hot."  
  
"Brian, you are jealous!" Said Ted.  
  
Brian smiled.  
  
"Fuck off Ted." Said Brian.   
  
"That's so sweet, still jealous after 8 years together. And did you  
  
see your mysterious teacher Allan?" asked Emmett  
  
"No, he wasn't there. But now I know why I had such a crush on  
  
him." Said Michael.  
  
Brian froze. Did Michael know the only secret Brian had ever kept  
  
from him?  
  
"He was so much like Brian."  
  
Brian smiled and kissed his lover deeply.  
  
"Because it was me." Brian thought to himself.  
  
After the kiss broke, he looked at the ring he wore and smiled  
  
happily.  
  
THE END 


End file.
